too good

It's different. My past haunts me, as I have always tried to play the game by taking them for granted and testing my luck to see how much I could win. I've subconsciously repeated in my head that I was taking them for granted and that I will always lose, but I've always ignored it and continued to skip merrily along the horizon. I always did end up losing. Them. And got hurt nonetheless.

Yes, this time, it is different. I walk being fully conscious that I absolutely cannot fall into my own trap again. I am trying my best to make the sensible decision on what to do, say, how to say it. I've rewritten so many reckless messages because I realize I don't want to fuck up. I can't fuck this one up; this is the one that counts.

But somehow, my unluckiness wakes the Devil's spawn and she still happens to poke at me with her pitchfork. This is not a battle between how unlucky I am and how lucky you are; rather, bring on the pitchforking and help us learn.

It's different and so much more important.