the unexpected

I have done nothing but welcome it with open arms, fully ready to embrace the worst of the worst; that devastating feeling that could crumble anyone to their knees. I stood in an open field, unequipped and unarmed, thinking that if even one bullet could pierce through my skin, that pain would ease away some of the guilt. I stood and waited and expected, only to realize now that I was a fool for thinking it was going to be that easy. It remained hidden in the shadows until I let my guard down. It was patient for months. Now, it has finally taken grasp of my throat and begun to squeeze.

I let it.